Do You Self Sabotage?
This is a tricky one! I mean, why would we ever be scared to succeed? Why would we be afraid of the very thing we want? Or what we're working so hard to achieve?
I've seen this a lot in my coaching practice. Where my clients are sometimes scared of what that success might look like because at the end of the day it will always mean more responsibility.
Self-sabotage involves behaviors or thoughts that keep you away from what you desire most in life. It’s that internal set temp that eats away at us, saying “you can’t do this.” Can you relate?
When working around this hurdle, this is really your subconscious trying to protect you, prevent pain and deal with deep-seated fear. But the result of self-sabotage is that we hesitate instead of committing to new challenges. We forgo our dreams and goals. In the end, we know we missed out, but we don’t understand why. I've also seen self-sabotage be related to self-confidence. But for today's post, let’s focus on why we do this in the first place.
Recognize Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
First, we can understand and get really quiet why we are behaving that way. Are you suffering from lack of motivation? Is there a goal you have been putting off for quite some time? Look at something you continue to succeed at but repeatedly fail. This may be hard at first, but get quiet and tune into problem situations, so you can better understand what is happening.
Self Worth
You feel undeserving of success or happiness. This was me for many years. I would strive to work really hard and aim high, because deep down inside, I was making up for a self-imposed sense of inadequacy. Ouch. We can have limiting beliefs that we’re bad at something without even trying, also believing that no one could truly love us so pushing our partners away, or accepting bad treatment simply because a small part of ourselves thinks that we deserve it. Self-worth can shade our whole lives. It continues within a vicious cycle, and the result of these habits can confirm our own worst fears about ourselves.
Root Causes
How do you deal with stress? This makes a big difference. When you're tired, do you eat? When you are sad, do you eat? When you feel anxious, do you eat? This could be anything, honestly. Food, behavior, alcohol or drugs.
Show me how you decide to set yourself up for SUCCESS as you transition into the New Year. When we set ourselves up for success, anything is possible! I do this by making sure I have food prepped, so success is inevitable, and I don't have an excuse to just eat all the junk, which leaves me frustrated and massively STUCK.
For the New Year and New You and staying present, I've created a fun healthy recipe to help keep you on track. Once you start to acknowledge the self sabotage, you can have tools to help yourself continue to shift forward. I love using momentum as a tool and connecting to what it is I want to experience, and also calling myself out on my own crap in order to break free. To help us all stay on track, I've got a healthy cookie recipe for you to try out that I created for myself and my family. I really wanted a quick on the go, break-the-fast cookie that was healthy and nourishing for everyone in the house. You can check it out here. Plus the calories will not break the bank and also these cookies are with no added sugars!
I'm curious, when you think about the new year 2022 approaching, what is it that you might be setting up for goals? Make sure that they are reasonable. A lot of times we set completely unreasonable and unattainable goals. These are the kinds of goals that, even in the absolute best conditions and best-case scenarios, you’re not going to achieve. For example: Wanting to lose 100 pounds or write a book are both great resolutions, but are they realistic? Setting unreasonable goals is a simple way of setting yourself up for failure. Then what happens is you use self sabotage to keep yourself stuck. The washing machine of habits continues. I've been guilty too!
The other way we set ourselves up for failure is by trying to have goals that we don’t really believe in. If you choose BIG goals, make sure to break them down into measurable chunks, so you can continue to make progress and not just see and focus on the end game. The middle and beginning is just as important too. I think it is very important to get really comfortable with failure and understanding that failure is part of the process, and not a setback. You learn so much more from failures than when you get things right.
Set your intention and press play! The world is waiting for your greatness!
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